This is for you Diana....
It's late... we just got home for the day and all my kiddos are sleeping. Macee honestly fell asleep as soon as she sat down in the car. Poor thing... she was tuckered. Her dance team did awesome again! It's hard to explain because unlike most sports there isn't really a champion... they get either silver, gold or platinum honors for each dance. They brought home a platinum and 2 gold!
Mick's football team came out victorious which means we will be playing for the championship next Saturday. We have lost 1 game this entire season and it would be to this team. Thurl Bailey's son plays on this opposing team. Mick thinks it's cool that they are the same age because we always end up playing against them in basketball... football.... Anyway, we didn't have the best of games the first time and I can't wait to see the outcome of this weekends game. Will keep you posted. The baseball team also came out with a Championship for the weekend so... it was a good weekend for the Madsen kids.
Now.... to preface the title of the post. I really do appreciate all the nice comments from people saying I am supermom or superwoman or amazing but.... I have you all fooled. I am the mom who:
1) Just Today...Rushed from a football game to adance competition up at the salt palace. After sitting at the competition for an hour forgot I had left my daughters costumes at home in Lehi (at which time I drove like a mad woman back and got them).
2) Has been known to leave her 2 yr old in his carseat in the car (in the garage) for 30 minutes. (In my defense, Eric thought I had got Gwire and I assumed he had got him).
3)Is notorious for being on a client call and saying,"Oh crap... do you mind if I call you back. my kids got out of school a couple minutes ago and I was supposed to be there to pick them up."
4) Boycots Sacrament Meeting (and sometimes all church) when Eric is out of town. I make excuses for myself saying that the kids or I don't get much out of it when we are sitting in the foyer the entire time. I know.... this is bad.
5)Lets my kids stay up way too late on school nights.
I try... I do.... but will never profess or live up to what any of you think I may be. So these are my thoughts about how I juggle motherhood and a career and a home.
First of all, when I married Eric I married into a great family of women. One of his sisters imparticular (you know who I am talking about) amazed me daily. She was the real "superwoman" in my book. Great mother, always fulfilled her calling in the church (current Primary president), successful career... I couldn't figure out how she did it. Honestly... this woman never missed a beat... Sent family newsletters... care packages... trading spaces shirts... NEVER missed a birthday. SHE has been someone that I have tried to tailor myself afterward. (I promise I am not kissing butt.... I really do idolize her). She has raised 3 outstanding boys and continues to amaze me!
Secondly, I use to be one who would NEVER ask for help. I was very self-sufficient and didn't need help. I have slowly but surely learned to set that pride aside. I KNOW that I can't do this alone... I have honestly surrounded myself with family and friends that are GREAT mothers that I learn from daily. How many of my readers at some point have not taken my kid to a ballgame... to or from school.... kept one an extra hour... day.... or night because I wasn't going to be around or Eric was out of town? Honestly... I have the BEST friends and family anyone could ever ask for. I have a dear friend who lives around the corner from me and saves my butt constantly! I am not sure why she even picks up the phone when I call anymore. This is how sweet my friend Emily is. Mays was young... I had a ball game to go to late one night and Eric was out of town. It was fairly cold outside so I called Em and asked her to watch him for a couple hours. As always, without hesitation, she said yes. I hang up and immediately get a phone call... I have caller ID and knew it was Emily. She starts with, "Guess what I will be doing tonight..... kissing on a baby Madsen... HAHA... Do you want to come over and love on him with me?" I then said, "Um.... sure but this is baby Madsens mom." She totally had thought she had called her next door neighbor. I will always remember this because it made me realized that she really LOVED doing this.... and as hard as it was for me to ask her.... it was something that was OK.
Thirdly, I have Shari. Most of you know that Shari is my Nanny. I hate to even refer to her as that because she is really part of our family. She has been with us now for almost 2 years. She comes to the house Mon - Fri and watches my kids while I go down in my little office and work away. While my kids take their naps she clean... folds laundry.... you name it. I try and do all my responsibilities as a mom such as take kids to and from school/preschool/dance/ballgames but if I am out of the house for some reason.... she does this also. Not many people have a Shari... and she is one BIIIIIIIIG reason I keep things together.
Next.... my employer.... (this is really becoming a Grateful list huh?) I am not sure what I have done in this lifetime to deserve the luxury I have of being a "work at home" mom, working for the people that I do. The Banasky family is great. They know how important it is to me to be able to have a career and also be the best mom I can be... Now... this might hit some of you the wrong way and I am sorry but this is just Jessica being honest and since it's my blog/journal I will speak freely... I had a very hard time working when I first started having kids. The guilt consumed me.. and is still hard to this day. BUT... I honestly feel that having a career for myself and having quiet moments sitting at a computer and working or having adult conversation with my clients is very therapeutic for me. I believe (think what you may) that my situation has honestly made me a better mom. It's hard to explain and many of you may not "get it" but I have the utmost respect for you woman that are truly "stay at home moms." I have said many times and will always say that I think it is a much harder job than what I do. I would be yelling at kids 24/7.
I pray daily for several things. Two of these would be 1) Healthy, strong children and 2)Patience. Do I yell.... Of course.... (I am a coalminers daughter and can cuss like my dad) Do I scream.... daily.... Do I cry.... always but.... isn't this all just a part of the process? I am so far from being superwoman it't not even funny.... but what is our ultimate goal in life as mothers?
As I sat and watched this intense dance workshop/competition this weekend I really had a hard time with how "important" it was to some of these moms that their daughters were.... on the front row... making sure they asked the judges/instructors questions so they could be noticed... just silly little things. I caught myself critiquing Macee once and thought... "what the heck am I doing... she is 7 years old and I am pretty sure you won't be seeing her on broadway anytime soon...."
I have a great mother and sisters that are amazing moms. I learn things from them constantly... I have a fabulous husband whom is always helping (when he is home). And probably most importantly.... I know I have someone watching over me every step of the way. I am humbled that he has felt the need to send me these precious little boys. For those of you who may not now, Eric did have a vasectomy after Mays was born and we were still blessed with Murphy. What an angel baby he is.... my dad will laugh when I say he is the best baby ever but I will say it nonetheless. I think he knew that if he felt the need to send one more... he would send a good one (beside the sleep thing). And last but not least, all you woman that blog. I seriously and honestly can say that I learn from each of you on a consistent basis. I think utlimately we all want to be the "perfect" mom right? But who know's exactly what that is!!!
I don't keep it all together... I promise... I have breakdowns constantly at which time I pick up the phone and one of you will lift me up!
Ok... the novel is over and I shall leave you with a few last photos from the weekend:
This is Macee and her friend Cassidy getting ready for "Ay Caramba."
And this is my dad snuggling Murphy to sleep. My mom and dad drove up Friday night to watch my younger kids. They were going to go home early the next day and ended up supporting Mick at his football game and both baseball games! Thank you SOOO much. I should also mention many of you that helped with my crazy weekend but I farmed my kids out so many different places I will miss someone so THANK YOU all for all the extra help! Goodnight!
10 comments:
Say what you wish but...
I still think you are superwoman. And I am always right so you must be! ;0)
And please tell that hubby of yours that I am sorry I didn't say good bye! I fell asleep in about 2 seconds!
I loved your post. I think we all feel like we have room to improve as mothers! What else would we feel like we have to work on if we didn't? Ha ha!
Reading this made me think about all my imperfections... so thanks! :o)
I am amazed at all the things you do "daily"!
Keep it up!
YOur great! I love having you in our family!!!
Jess, I use you as an example all the time. You have doubled me in children and you still could run circles around me!
You are awesome! I think you must have known that I needed to hear that :) (with out getting into the details)
As I just told you, I loved your post. :o) It is THE hardest job ever to be a mom, but also the most rewarding, huh?? I stress out DAILY with my four, so I don't know how you do it with six....but you do. And....most of the time with a smile on your face. I wish people could say that about me. :o) I love how your parents come to help with you had to run to Macee's dance stuff. First of all, they are FANTASTIC.... Secondly, they are so nice to ALL the kids, even ones who aren't their grandchild. Wack saw your Dad at the football game and just ran to him. I thought your Dad probably got a kick out of it...then your Dad always asks him, "Where's your SISTER?" I think it's so cute. You've got a great family, on both sides...and you're so lucky. I'm sure they'd all say the same stuff about you though, too. You're always doing something nice for someone else..... You've helped me lots of times with my kids when I've needed it. I feel bad that you took Bo last week when you guys were sick!! I think Jason about had a heart attack when I told him....not because he was worried about Bo catching the flu, but because he was worried about MICK....or BUB catching it. ;o) ha ha The boys all had a great sports day on Saturday. I was proud of all of them. The weather was great down in Salem, so it was really nice to be able to sit and hang out with everyone. I missed you there, but I'm glad to hear everything went well with Macee and her team. No surprise there though. And what are you talking about...not seeing her on Broadway anytime soon?? Bite your tongue!! :o) Today my little boys were in the backyard playing and Matthew came in laughing....'cause Bo stopped running in their football game 'cause "he didn't want to run into his cheerleaders". Bub asked him who his cheerleaders were, and he said, "Chloe, Chloe's mommy, Macee, and all Macee's dancing friends". He told Bub he thinks they're "hot". Oh my.... He's not even 4. You'll have to tell Macee though...'cause she'll get a kick out of it. She's so nice to him. Anyway, I loved reading your post. You're a very humble person, and that's why we all love you....but you are such a great Mom. We, as women, need to build each other UP. We're all trying the best we can...and sometimes we ALL go through times where we feel like we don't measure up to someone else. You do such a great job of balancing your work...and all the things you do with the kids. Seriously, I get what you mean about it making you a better Mom. I don't "work" at home, but I still need that adult conversation once in a while to give me a little strenth...or an occasionaly pep talk. :o) It's good to have wonderful friends. I think we're all very blessed in that regard. I'm glad you have such great neighbors, too. It makes things SO much easier. You guys are so welcoming at your house, too, though. I don't think I've ever been to your house when there isn't an extra kid or two there. You're so much nicer than I am. :o) Sorry for writing a novel...but like I said, this is kind of MY adult conversation, and it's been a long, long day. ha ha
That was the best post I have read in a long time. I think it is so important for us, as moms, to admit we have weaknesses and need help. Sometimes I can get so down wondering why some moms seem like they can do it all and I can't even keep my house clean! Thanks for "keepin' it real!" I still think you are amazing!
Oh yeah, can I have Sheri?
Jess, this is a great post! You need to give yourself some credit! You are an amazing mom and a great friend to everyone! You have such good kids! You are always going 100 mph and yet you're so calm and put together! I am amazed at how much you do and still keep it together. My boys love to go to the Madsen's house and not only hang with Mick, but all of your kids! You are always welcoming ALL of them not only for a few hours, but all night if they want to!
We all love you and think you are Superwoman! Your mom and dad are the best! Aren't we lucky to have such awesome supportive families! Makes life a little easier! Okay, I'm done now! Love ya
That was a really great post. I think it was just what I needed to hear. Being a mom and being pulled in so many directions truly is a challenge. You balance it so very well. I also agree that having great family and friends is the greatest blessing in life. None of us can do it alone. Thanks for being one of those friends to me and my family. The boys really were awesome this weekend. It was fun to end off the baseball season that way- and with such great weather it was really nice. See you at football next Saturday. Macee looks so cute in all her dance pictures. I loved the video of her tumbling- so cute.
So true . . . none of us can do it alone.
Post a Comment